Friday, January 16, 2009

Seriously?

I need to vent and this is where it happens. I have a handful of close friends who know I have MS and who know I have to give myself shots every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I have a friend who we have been wanting to get together for a long time and it just hasn't been working out for us. She called me last night and said she would be going to happy hour tonight and was asking if I'd meet her out. She said she'd be home by 5:00. Well my husband usually gets home at 4:45 so I couldn't go. Here's a bit of info on this friend: she enjoys drinking a lot. When she said she'd be home and 5:00 I didn't believe it. Well she called me tonight at 6:30 and she was still out and would be out for at least another hour. She wanted me to meet her. I said I didn't feel like it. I told her it was too cold to go out. It was 3 degrees. I had just gone to Walmart and couldn't feel my toes and wasn't about to go out again. Also, if she didn't have so much to drink already she would have remembered that I don't drink on the nights I do my shots. It's just something I do. Rebif is hard enough on my liver as it is. So, anyhow she kept trying really hard to get me to go out. She was telling me that I'm a mommy and need a break and need to go out. She was then telling me about all the other mommies that were out drinking. Here's the part that hurt and I couldn't believe she said but again she was drinking. She said she would be mad at me if I didn't meet her out. I then reminded her that I don't go out on Friday nights. Then she remembered I need to do my shot and she said I win and she loved me. Whatever! This was 2 hours ago and it is still bothering me. I emailed and told her how sad she made me feel. She calls me her best friend? I'm wondering what she will have to say when she calls me. I just am frustrated. I also am having a hard time again accepting that I have MS and I am having a hard time with my shots. No one understands unless they are going through it. I told my sister when she was visiting that on the days I don't do my shot I feel like I need to do something super fun or crazy because I feel as though I should be celebrating the fact that I don't have to do my shot. It sucks! I can't believe this is how the rest of my life will be. Hopefully it won't be and eventually I can just take a pill. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Today I am grateful for gift certificates.

1 comment:

LISA EMRICH said...

Well Heather, that just doesn't sound like a pleasant phone call. Almost like rubbing it in that your friend was out partying and you were "stuck" home taking good care of yourself and your family. When actually you had chosen to take care of yourself and those you love so deeply.

Eventually, it really does get easier. I promise.