Sunday, August 30, 2009

Night Out

I am in desparate need of a night out with some friends. I just want to go out for a few drinks. I'd like to go out at about 8 and be home by 10:30. I'm feeling really tired these days and I haven't even started work yet. There are only about 3 people I'd like to go out with and the one girl needs more than a nights notice, the other girl doesn't go out until about 10:00 and the other girl is basically an alcoholic and can't go out for a few drinks. I'm sure I'll survive. I just feel like I need to have a few last fun nights before work starts. I'm afraid I'll be too tired and stressed to have any fun.

Today I am thankful that my husband spent the day with me and Asa.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Not looking forward

I am not looking forward to starting work on Wednesday. I've really enjoyed these past 16 1/2 months of being a mommy and just doing my own thing. I get such anxiety when I think about how it will all get done. How will my school work get done? I'm a pretty hardcore and dedicated teacher. I would spend most of my weekends and every week night doing school work. I know this has to change now that I have a child of my own. I just hope I can still do a good job at teaching. Asa is now my priority. How will the house get cleaned? I do so much to keep the house decent. I know there won't be time for that anymore. I also don't want my weekends to just be endless chores. When will I work out? I've thought about getting up early but I know I am going to prefer sleep. I've also thought about doing it at 7:45 after Asa goes to bed. I am completely exhausted by then and I haven't even started work yet. Any suggested would help. I don't want to miss any time away from Asa. I really don't want to go back to work. I wish money was not a necessity. I have two books and 3 magazines sitting on my couch right now waiting to be read. I really want to finish them b/f teaching starts b/c I know there will be no down time.

Sorry about all the complaining but I needed to vent and that is why I created this blog.

Today I am thankful it is Saturday and I get to see my Asa. Love him!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

16 1/2 months

I took off the last school year to be a mommy. I have been home for 16 1/2 amazing months with my son. Reality is quickly approaching. I am wondering if I am going to be ready for the HUGE lifestyle change. Ready or not it is coming. We have been sending all day to daycare to get him (and me) ready for this transition. He loves it! I'm doing better than I thought but it is so hard. I miss him so much! He is such a good boy. I wouldn't have done this any differently. It was such an amazing 16 months!

I am noticing I don't have much time to sit and write on my blog. I'm thinking this is going to get pushed to the side once I start teaching. I'm also thinking I just won't have time to do anything for me. I hope I'm ready for crazy time. Blah!

Asa is at daycare today and I can't get into school. I must go and clean my house one last time before school starts. I'm really not sure how all of this is going to work. It will work. I have an amazing husband who will be a huge help. We need to remember that I am not the only one going back to work but the whole family is. It will be a transition that we all need to adjust to. I am giving myself until October to have some sort of routine down. One thing I'm concerned about is working out. I was going to get up early but I prefer sleep. I am feeling so so tired these days (work hasn't even started). I thought I might workout after Asa went to bed at 7:30. By 7:00 I'm ready to crash too. Ahhh!

Also, I am working on stopping all my meds so I can try to get pregnant again. I am really nervous about stopping my Rebif but we'll see. I'm happy in a way to stop it b/f school starts b/c I was really worried. There are somedays where the side effects are so bad that I wouldn't be able to get to school to teach. I'll keep you posted on how this all goes.

I do read all your blogs but just don't have time for my own. Hope all is well with everyone!

Today I am grateful for a Heather day.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It's been awhile

Sorry I have been away for so long. In my free time I have been enjoying some books. I've preferred to use my free time reading rather than blogging. I also feel like I have so much to write about and don't have the energy. I've also been reading about 4 other blogs each day and that too takes time. Also, I've been getting ready to head back to work after almost 16 months. I'm getting very anxious about it. My friends tell me I am a veteran teacher and it will be like riding a bike. Well, the last time I rode a bike things didn't go so smoothly and I haven't done it since. I need to have a better attitude about the whole thing. I've been sending my son to daycare to help us all get adjusted to the big change that is going to hit us. Next week he will go everyday and I will head to my classroom to prep for the beginning of the year. People have no idea the amount of work that needs to get done to start a school year. I just hope the stress won't affect my MS. I'm also a bit nervous b/c at the end of this month I'm going to stop taking my Rebif in hopes to get pregnant again. I was so worried about working while taking Rebif b/c sometime the side effects hit me hard the next day. I didn't realize I wouldn't be on Rebif so I guess that is one less worry.

I will do my best to write again soon. I know once teaching starts I probably won't be blogging much, doing facebook or much of anything fun. Although I did tell my husband to please make sure he still sees me reading for enjoyment. I do need some down time at night b/f going to bed.

Today I am grateful that my sons daycare is closed so we can spend a lot of time together this week.