Saturday, November 15, 2008

What are you grateful for?

There are four blogs that I read pretty faithfully and one of them is "Living! with MS." Her last entry was title "Gratitude." She is trying to focus on all the good things she has in her life. I thought this would be a good thing to do also. So, each time I write a blog I'd like to try to include one thing that I am grateful for that day (if I remember).

Today I am grateful that I got to go to kick boxing in the morning.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Who am I?

I've been thinking a lot lately and wondering what happened to me. I am a mommy of a 6 1/2 month old who I love with all my heart. He is such an amazing little boy. Since having him though I feel like everything I used to enjoy doing I no longer have time to do. Here are some of the things I miss and wonder if I'll ever get to do again: My husband and I used to go to open mic nights together (he played guitar and I sang). I really enjoyed singing and it made me feel good. I also used to workout for about 2 hours a day. I worked 4 hours a week at the local gym so I could workout there for free. I paid to have a personal trainer once a week who would kick my ass and I loved it. I miss the body I once had. I know everything distributes differently after having a baby but I looked good and felt good too. Okay-so there's only two things I really miss but I miss them A LOT. I also think that taking off a year from teaching is making me rethink who I am. I am starting to miss making money- A LOT! I like to shop and now I can't do it b/c we have lost a whole income. It is for a good reason (to raise my son) and I know I will never regret it. I might even do it for my 2nd child (If I decide to have any more.) I've been a teacher since 1999 and am starting to wonder if that is really how I want to spend the rest of my working life. It's a freakin' hard job. I visit job websites frequently and wonder what do I want to be when I grow up? I think I would love it if my husband made a whole bunch of money and I could work in a little coffee shop. I would love a job that is 9-5 or 8-4 which requires no outside work. A job that have very little stress. Teaching is so time consuming (if you do a good job). I would also really like to find a job where I get summers off and I'd like to make no less money than I was. This is a tough order I know. I might have to sacrifice something here I know. I was actually thinking of talking to my principal and seeing if there where any other positions (so I could get out of the classroom) opening like maybe an AIS position. I was even going to try to think of a new position to create. Anyone have any ideas of what I could do once I need to go back to work? I looked online last night trying to find jobs I could do from home. It's hard being a grown up. It sucks that we need to make money.

Saturday, November 1, 2008


So, I finally got in touch with my neurologist (after playing phone tag for 4 days). I called him to discuss the way I've been feeling with my grumpiness, anger and overwhelmed feelings. Also, to ask if it was okay for me to get the flu shot (FYI: he said yes to the flu shot). He said there were three things we could do: try counseling, go on meds, or stop the Rebif. I knew even before he called me back that I was going to try counseling first. I already had the names of two counselors ready to call. I am not one for medicine. So, to be taking something like Rebif it tough for me. I really don't want to put too much more in my system. I think if I could do some counseling and actually find the time to workout more than twice a week I would be feeling much better.

It's so hard to find time to write and I have so much more to say. I'll try again later this weekend.