Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Break?

Do mommies ever get a break? I think it's hard because I am a stay at home mom and I feel as though this job only "ends" when Asa goes to bed. I'm frustrated because when Asa was born my mom said she would be up to help every Wed. and Fri. Well, this isn't happening. My nannie (her mother) isn't doing well and my mom uses those days to take care of her. Which I understand. I wish my mom knew she would never get this time back with Asa. If I told her that though she'd probably say she'll never get this time back with her mother. Which I understand too. I am just frustrated because I need the help and a break. I just want someone to come and play with Asa while I do some chores or run some errands alone. I think it would just make me feel so much better. I'm also frustrated because we spend $875 on an elliptical machine and I only get to use it on the weekends. I really am trying hard to figure out when to use it. The only time I can figure is in the morning before Asa wakes up and that just doesn't appeal to me. I need to get as much sleep as I possibly can. When he naps I am doing chores like a mad women. I really want to do it during his first morning nap but the length of his naps just aren't consistent enough. I at least want to use the elliptical for 30 min. and then shower. Some days there wouldn't be enough time for a shower. I hope to soon figure this out. I also am looking forward to Spring when we can get outside for walks. Winter is starting to be really long.

I also had a hard day because my husband was home from work. He should have had a snow day but didn't. When he tried to leave our house he couldn't make it down the hill (we live on a really big hill) so turned around and made his own snow day. At first I was so happy because I was thinking he would be a big help to me and I could get a bunch done and have a bit of a break. Well, I didn't realize he was going to work from home. GRRR! He asked why I was so grumpy so I explained: When you are home I feel as though you can help me. At around noon he tried to go to work again but it was freezing rain so he stayed home. It was just an over all hard day. I also have my period so maybe this could be part of my grumpiness or just adding to it.

Today I am grateful for my sister. She is my best friend and I miss her so much (especially on days like this.)!

1 comment:

Tori said...

My heart aches for you because I want things to be easier for you right now. Do you know how proud I am of you for just making it through each day? You are far stronger than me and it takes an incredible woman to be a good mother. You are more than incredible. However, you do need a break. Maybe you and Asa could travel up here for a few days and you can come to work for me and I will stay home with Asa!
Seriously - I wish I were close in times like this and get mad at myself for not being closer to help.
Hang in there and make sure to give yourself the credit you deserve.