Sad day

Today was a sad day. It was weird. I thought about my mother-in-law so many times today. I was trying to hold back the tears or when I did cry I didn't let my husband see. I finally told him that I was sad today because I was thinking about his mom a lot. I kept hearing her over and over in my head during different times today. My husband told me I was crying his tears. It's so sad to me and it just doesn't seem real yet. I HATE when people die. I feel like it's so hard to go on like normal because things aren't normal, someone important in your life is missing. I hope my husband knows he can be sad around me and that it's okay to cry. He did break down at the funeral which I thought was good but I hope he knows he doesn't have to play tough guy. I can't even imagine loosing a parent. My parents tend to drive me bonkers but I would miss them terribly. I HATE death.


I am grateful that my husband got our Christmas tree today and I at least got the lights hung up.