Overwhelmed. The word I use to describe how I am feeling. I'm not sure why I feel so overwhelmed because I am not working this year. I took a one year leave from teaching 2nd grade to be at home with my baby (So, I am working a 24/7 job with no sick time.). I am so glad I decided to do this. I wouldn't want anyone else to be taking care of my baby now. He is 5 months old right now and I couldn't ask for a better baby. I haven't told my husband that I feel overwhelmed because I can't even imagine what word he would use to describe how he is feeling right now. He is very busy at work, taking two college courses which are very demanding with reading and writing, dealing with landlord issues (finding new tenants and getting one to pay on time), getting the house ready for winter, trying to pay bills on time and in his free time spending time with his wife and baby. I really feel like I can't complain but it's how I feel. I LOVE being a mommy but it truly is the hardest thing in the world. No one can really tell you how hard being a mommy is. If they do you truly won't know until you are in it. I have no idea how I am suppose to get back into my career come next September. Who will keep the house clean, do laundry, and make an occasional dinner(I have wonderful husband who when he has time makes great dinners)? I am a clean freak so in order for me to not be grumpy my house must be clean. I know I don't have to worry about that yet but I do think of it often. I think I'm still dealing with my MS diagnosis a lot too. I don't think I'll ever be able to accept the fact that I have this. I've only been on Rebif for 3 months now and it sucks. There are many days after doing my shot that I feel really awful. I am glad I don't have to go to teach everyday because every Tuesday and Thursday I think I would be calling in for a substitute. Today I actually wished I could have called a substitute mommy. I do the best I can on these days to be the best mommy I can be. I am hoping come next Sept. I will be adjusted to this harsh medicine.
I hope to write my next blog about my feelings towards Rebif.