Resolution

Tomorrow will be New Year's Eve and apparently I should have my resolution in mind. I really haven't put much thought into this but I suppose now is the time. I used to be a pretty hardcore gym girl. I'd workout at the gym 6 days a week for about 2 hours and once a week with a personal trainer. I can honestly say I was pretty happy with the body I had molded and worked so hard for. Since having my baby (8 months ago) I really have not worked out much at all. I am so unhappy with my body although I got an amazing son. I miss working out. I need to exercise in order to relieve my stress and help control my grumpiness. Yesterday my husband and I purchased and elliptical for our home. I am hoping this will get my body back to the way it used to be (or close). The only thing that needs to happen now is we need to take it out of the box and hopefully it doesn't require to much putting together. So, my resolution is to start to exercise again.


Today (and everyday) I am grateful for having a husband who I love so much and who loves me just as much. I couldn't have found a better husband. I was going to close with this but I need to share a funny story that happened yesterday with my husband and baby. My husband is off for this week from work (which I'm loving all the help). He helped by changing Asa's poopy diaper for me. Well, about an hour after this I decided to put Asa in his PJ's. When I was undressing him I discovered his daddy didn't put a diaper on him after he changed him. I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself. Too funny! I was so thankful he didn't pee without a diaper on.

Few things

I just wanted to mention a few things that I am grateful for (although lately I am grateful for many things): I am so grateful that Asa is sleeping through the night. Now I just need to work on sleeping all night without checking on him 2-3 times a night. I am also grateful that my husband has a week off from work. I know he has homework to get caught up on but still it will be a bit of a break for me.

Sad day

Today was a sad day. It was weird. I thought about my mother-in-law so many times today. I was trying to hold back the tears or when I did cry I didn't let my husband see. I finally told him that I was sad today because I was thinking about his mom a lot. I kept hearing her over and over in my head during different times today. My husband told me I was crying his tears. It's so sad to me and it just doesn't seem real yet. I HATE when people die. I feel like it's so hard to go on like normal because things aren't normal, someone important in your life is missing. I hope my husband knows he can be sad around me and that it's okay to cry. He did break down at the funeral which I thought was good but I hope he knows he doesn't have to play tough guy. I can't even imagine loosing a parent. My parents tend to drive me bonkers but I would miss them terribly. I HATE death.


I am grateful that my husband got our Christmas tree today and I at least got the lights hung up.

Sorry

Sorry I haven't written in such a long time but things have been busy. I've been faithfully reading everyone else's blogs but haven't really felt like writing on mine.

Things have been really hard the last few weeks. My mother-in-law passed away from a long battle with cancer. I'm really not ready to talk about it. I don't deal with death to well (not that anyone does). I'm the type of person that gets attached to people so much that when they die I just miss them so much. It's just so sad. I'm sad for our son, Asa, who will really never know his grandma. I am also thankful that she got to get to know him for 7 1/2 months of his life.

Three days after my mother-in-law passed away my husband's close friends mom also died. It was unexpected because she fell down the stairs in her house and hit her head. I am done with funerals for a while I hope. It's just so hard.

I also haven't written because I've been so stinkin' tired. I'm not sure if it's from my MS, the winter weather or being inside all day. I'm hoping I am just in a slump and it's not any MS symptoms.

Today I am grateful for the delicious Peppermint Latte I drank to help give me a boost.

Random rambling

I think about writing on my blog all the time but time just doesn't permit. When baby is sleeping I am doing chores like a mad women. There are also a lot of things going on in our lives right now. My husbands mother is terminally ill. Cancer is going to take her life. It has been so hard this last month and she is really in a bad way. It makes me so sad. There is so much more I'd like to write on this topic. I will when I can.

I just got news today that a co worker had died last night. He was 46 years old with a wife and two children. He wasn't feeling well so went to the hospital. They are going to do an autopsy to say what really happened. It either was his heart or he had a bad kidney infection. So sad. It really makes you stop and think about the little things in life and what is truly important.

I need to loosen up more. I've gotten better since having my baby. I am the type of person who needs to have a plan or know the plan. If there is something different or unexpected in the plan I get grumpy and stressed. I don't like this about myself but I have been this way for a long while. I need to go with the flow more often.

As for my MS things are thankfully no different. My Rebif shot is hurting again. It burns really bad when being injected which makes it hard. My husband did my shot last Wed. (in my buttocks) and it hurt so much that I pulled away and didn't get all the Rebif. Why is it hurting all of a sudden? I'm going through the phase of asking why do I have to do this shot to myself and just not believing that I have to do it for the rest of my life.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I enjoyed yummy apple pie for breakfast the next morning.

Like I said in a previous post I am going to write what I am grateful for at the end of each blog. I'd like to do this everyday because I am truly grateful for so many things. Today I am grateful that I get to talk to my sister each morning.